The Challenge For The “Better Half”!

Posted on March 13, 2011 by Rich
  Suffice to say my wife was not ready for this. She went from having 10/11 hours of sublime isolation during each of five days a week to no time alone at all. The ensuing overload tended to upset her a little bit (understatement noted). It is also important to note that things in the house I had never noticed before soon became major points of personal irritation. 
  My spouse was accustomed to being free to do whatever she wanted, whenever, especially around the house. Having me around the house put a crimp in those activities whether real or only perceived. It’s not that she actually  needed to do things differently but that she felt as though she needed to do so. Needless to say, this perceived intrusion on her freedom soon became a source of contention. 
  “Absence makes the heart grow fonder…” is not only an adage but a proven absolute around our house. My wife and I are basically loners by nature. We operate just fine with a minimum of interaction with others. With me gone at work for a good chunk of most days our “get together” time was both appreciated and needed. With me home every day there were some periods where we both just wanted to get away for awhile.
  When I was gone most of the day there were a goodly number of little things that I didn’t “see” or that I just dismissed from my conscious thought processes. Once homebound some of those same things became a source of near constant irritation. In addition, we tended to travel together every time we needed something outside the house. I am a “buyer”. I know what I want, I go in, get it, pay for it, and get out. I also, for the most part, tend to only purchase those things we actually need. My wife is a “shopper”. She likes perusing a good bit of the content of each and every store whether we intend to buy anything or not, she enjoys spending time while shopping. She also tends to purchase “goodies” above and beyond what we need or can use, e.g., we already have two kinds of bread and a package of cookies in the cart to which she will add a package of cinnamon twists, along with a bakery box of mixed apple fritters and eclairs. 
  We have both needed to accommodate to our partner’s differing needs. For example, when we go together I will gladly sit out in the car with my coffee and a good book while my spouse spends whatever unrushed time shopping. When she goes by herself she limits her purchases to only one trivial thing beyond what is truly needed. If it’s something big or expensive she calls.
Out of everything that has happened since that “magic” day making the adjustment(s) for new and in some cases upsetting personal/shared space issues has proved to be the most challenging and disaster prone. I’m glad to say we are finally managing it though. …03/13/11
Posted in Retired In Omaha | Leave a comment

Why Did You Do That!

Posted on March 12, 2011 by Rich
  There were several simultaneous happenstance’s that made it possible for me to retire:
  1. Paid Off Debt – We had gone to great effort over several years to get rid of all the debt we could. Car loans, credit cards, etc. The only thing we couldn’t touch was the house payment, but we had placed substantial down at purchase time and the monthly payment isn’t all that big.
  2. Relatively New Toys and Accessories – Our vehicles are very low mileage, under extended warranty, and only a few of years old. Our electronic goodies are two years old or newer and all our major appliances have at least another 10/15 years left in them. We had replaced all the major household systems (HVAC, water heater, windows, etc.) right after moving in. 
  3. Minimal Optional or Recurring Expenses – We had completed all our traveling and going while we were both in the military and there just isn’t a bucket list of things waiting to be done. Month to month expenses for two people living in a mid-size house are relatively low. 
  4. Guaranteed Income – I have two federal pensions I collect and my spouse will do the same in a few years. We have enough income to be frivolous on occasion while maintaining a sizeable emergency fund. 
  5. I have always had a burning desire to play so much golf that my hands would bleed.
  6. I suddenly realized that not only was I in a position where I could retire, I wanted to!
  Although the decision to retire was made rather abruptly (as far as my wife was concerned – more about that later) the lead-up to that decision point had spanned multiple years and required substantial planning and discipline. The key factor in making that decision was the realization that it was time to do so.
  I no longer looked forward to getting up and going to work and hadn’t for several years. The problem solving was no longer a challenge I looked forward to but a burden I increasingly dreaded. But I was conditioned by 40+ years of experience to continue the grind, meet and beat the enemy, be successful… I had to realize I was habituated. I was addicted to working just a surely as a smoker is addicted to cigarettes or a user to a drug. Once I became aware, making the choice to break the cycle was obvious, not easy, but obvious.
  The crux was to really consider the goals I had set for myself so many years ago illuminated by my current condition. I had intended to live the good life while doing everything necessary to be able to retire at a reasonable age. Well, I had lived as good a life as most people get and we were executing (or had executed) all the things necessary to set up the possibility of retirement. The only thing left to do was overcome the fear of making the decision. Yes, the “fear”. Although on the brink of that which I had always worked toward there was the fear of changing the status quo and jumping into the unknown. Even the most well executed plan eventually requires one to have enough courage to make the final decision, so I did. Golf here I come. …03/12/11
Posted in Retired In Omaha | Leave a comment

The Plan!

Posted on March 11, 2011 by Rich

  I would like to say my retirement came about exactly according to plan… I would like to say that! In fact it was fortuitous circumstance that proved to be the enabler.
  As is the case with many other people I had no real plans as I began my working career. I was working random jobs and using the proceeds to attend college with no particular major in mind. During one summer break I couldn’t earn enough money (a wildcat strike at a copper mine) and thus couldn’t go back to school for the fall semester. Being fully engaged in Viet Nam at the time it didn’t take Uncle Sam two weeks to reclassify me to OneA from TwoS and simultaneously provide me with a draft notice. I ultimately enlisted for four years to get the training I wanted along with choice of first station. And after 3⅔ years I finally realized I had found a career.
  In summary, I spent 14 years on active duty and another 12 years in the Army Reserve before going on the retired rolls. That meant I was entitled to half of my base military pay every month beginning the first month after I turned 60. It’s pretty nice to be in one’s mid forties and know there’s a guaranteed income waiting for you down the line.
  After active duty, the next 27 years were spent accumulating and disposing of various kinds and quantities of goods while enjoying the life provided by a second (dual) career as a electronic design engineer and part-time soldier. It was the good life and we enjoyed it.
  While satisfying, I find it difficult to classify any of the above as a plan. I was fortunate enough to make some good decisions as a young man and ended up just doing a series of things I happened to enjoy which ultimately left me pretty well off. Some plan, I think most would call it blind luck! …03/11/11

Posted in Retired In Omaha | Leave a comment

Doing The Deed!

Posted on March 11, 2011 by Rich
  As is typical of most things in life, I didn’t exactly get to pick my retirement date. Right after praising me for “Saving The Company” during an annual Board Meeting, my boss pulled me aside and told me to clean out my desk because my skills were “not a fit for what needs to be done”. This notice wasn’t exactly a surprise as other events had given me some warning and I had already passed through the various phases of loss.
  At some time during the last year of my employment I “got tired”. I was done, toast, didn’t want to participate, get out of my office and leave me the hell alone… While I still found the technical work interesting and rewarding I was tired of dealing with whiney, nasty people. Mind that these were all peers and above, not subordinates. I was tired of herding cats and only receiving a beating as a reward. The surprising part was that I hadn’t really began to come to grips with my “innards” until just a few weeks before I was let go.
I had plenty of transition time available and in a matter of ten days I had two job offers and one pending. However it wasn’t until I had the offers in-hand that the crisis struck… What was I doing? I had become so involved with thehabit of being employed that I had not considered whether I wanted to be employed. After taking a couple of days to think about it I knew I didn’t want to work for someone else again.
  This was a complete shock for my spouse and everyone who worked with me. I have always been driven by challenge, no one believed I would be able to leave my up-tempo environment and enter a life of doing nothing. I’m not sure I believed it myself but I certainly knew I couldn’t continue on the same path, something had to change. So, I rejected the offers and “did the deed” – I retired.
  Thus begins the real saga “Retired In Omaha”… …03/11/11
Posted in Retired In Omaha | Leave a comment

Before The Deed!

Posted on March 11, 2011 by Rich
  Unlike the preceding part of my career, the last few years before retirement were actually part of a predictive strategy. My long suffering spouse and I picked a geographic retirement location and then executed a loose plan to move us there along with most of our desired amenities. 
  We wanted four seasons and trees, a house big enough to hold our stuff, and a minimum of bills. We managed to acquire all that in the heart of the mid-West along with a new job that paid for the move and eliminated all of our standing expenses except for the mortgage. I will address this in greater detail later in this blog.
  So, the stage is set… …03/11/11
Posted in Retired In Omaha | Leave a comment

The Vacuum Effect

Posted on July 28, 2006 by Rich

  Driving down the highway heading for a Mexican Food lunch in the next town; the speed limit is 55 MPH and I, like everyone else, am traveling at 65 MPH. Soon I am slowed to 52 MPH by a medium sized Japanese car who’s driver is only recognized by the halo of grey hair framing the seat headrest. After several miles of a rocking-chair-like surging between 47 and 55 MPH we soon reach a section of road with a good long passing lane. Accelerate, flick the turn signal, pull out into the oncoming lane and watch first the trunk, then the passenger compartment, and finally the hood of the slower vehicle move backwards in my passenger side window. Steadily accelerating, I watch for the “Grey Panther” mobile to begin appearing in my rear view mirror; 65 MPH, 69 MPH, 72 MPH, still no car visible!
Quickly checking the passenger side mirror I note the Senior Citizen and his ride are glued to my right rear fender while a glance at my speedometer registers 77 MPH! I grab a much larger chunk of gas pedal and as I cross 90 MPH I finally see this race track wannabe appear behind me. Click the turn signal the other way, move back into the right lane, observe Grandpa and his ride rapidly move farther and farther behind me as I gradually slow to a “normal” 65 MPH.
  Knowing full well that no one would purposefully try to keep a passing car from getting around, I can only surmise that the “Geezermobile” somehow became trapped in the huge vacuum vortex I was dragging behind me, caused by failure to put my tailgate down into the approved horizontal position. My obvious negligence almost certainly caused this Knight of the local highways to be sucked along at terrifying speeds that both he and his vehicle had probably never seen heretofore.
  I briefly considered going back to apologize for my brutish behavior but, instead decided to go directly to the nearest auto parts store to purchase and install an open mesh tailgate to forestall visiting this terrifying event on any other unsuspecting Senior Citizen. Were we all as concerned for our fellow drivers there would be many fewer incidents upon our highways. 7/28/06

Posted in What The Heck | Leave a comment

Lemonade

Posted on July 21, 2006 by Rich

  I saw a young boy today, he looked to be about 8 or 9 years old, most of his exposed skin was covered by scar tissue obviously caused by serious burns. I initially thought “How terrible” that this child is so disfigured and that he will have to live with this disability. He was talking a blue streak to the men he was with and soon had everyone around him chuckling about the content of his running dialog. His father, with a sly smile, joked that he had forgotten “to give him his pill” before taking him out in public. The young boy was up, down, talking, joking, and cajoling while engaging those around him eye to eye without a trace of fear or shyness. I soon came to realize that I had made a hasty judgment, in just a few minutes I was totally engaged with the bright and vibrant person he obviously was to the extent I didn’t notice the scars anymore, only a smart, healthy child fully immersed in the joy of life.
  People are only as handicapped as we are willing to make them or allow them to be. It’s wonderful that the people around this boy won’t let him be handicapped, that they are giving him the full joy of living. Life dealt him some lemons, but he not only made lemonade, he opened up an entire fruit stand for the rest of us to enjoy! I wish he had not suffered his obvious injuries, but I am still enjoying the smile he put on my face today. 7/21/06

Posted in What The Heck | Leave a comment

On What’s Important

Posted on July 20, 2006 by Rich

  A co-worker had brought her young son into the office near the end of the workday and put him to work at some adolescent on-line games until it was time to go home. Nothing new here, and we were all glad to see him. About 20 minutes later this small child was pitching a king-sized fit. “I’m not going home… I’m staying here… No-o-o-ooo-ooooo!” What caused this outburst from this normally pleasant child? His mom had told him it was time to go and he didn’t want to leave his high-speed Internet connection in the office for the pokey dial-up connection at home. “I don’t want to go… Why can’t Dad fix it??? I….don’t….WANT….TO!!!!” Finally, his mom picked up her stuff and headed for the door, at-which-point-in-time I began to think I was going to get to baby sit a small child that I didn’t own. Fairly quickly the possibility of actually being left behind overcame his his bandwidth addiction and he stomped out with all the theatrics appropriate for a five year old having his limbs twisted, broken and finally ripped from his body.
  Before one rises to criticize the child or his mom, I have to point out that I am more than 10 times his age and would probably be at least three times as ugly given the same circumstances. And while I don’t usually condone bad behavior, any child who is both comfortable with and proficient at getting around the Internet is going to have a substantial head start on his peers that he will probably maintain for the rest of his life. The world is getting more and more technical and those who can embrace it, ultimately turn it to their needs and wants, are going to be the achievers, the leaders of the future.
Besides which, I can think of many other addictions much less pleasant or useful. Four young ladies grew up in my house and they all were addicted to charge cards and reliving the daily lives of each and every Soap Opera star on TV. Although they haven’t changed much, I still love ‘em. 7/20/06

Posted in What The Heck | Leave a comment

The Lottery

Posted on July 18, 2006 by Rich

  Why do people play the lottery? Everyone knows you stand a better chance of getting struck by lightning while dancing the Samba in your sister’s nightgown, twice, than making any kind of killing in the lottery. I don’t normally gamble: cards, horses, slots, table games, dogs, craps,… hold no attraction for me; so why play the lottery? It seems to be my only vice, I don’t drink, smoke, cheat on my wife, or carouse with a rugby team, so why?
  Coffee — You get up, wander into the kitchen, rinse out the pot, fill it with fresh water, measure out the coffee, grind it, put it into the basket, flip the switch, monitor the gurgle and hiss, enjoy the aroma, pour into the mug, spoon in the sugar, measure out the cream, stir… and then the reward… the first sip of hot, perfectly brewed, sugared, and creamed COFFEE. There is nothing better, the next sip won’t be as good, and another pot brewed later in the day will be good, but, not as good. You have to wait another whole day before you can enjoy the sensation of that first sip of coffee.
  But was it really the coffee? Could a cup of coffee be that good? Probably not. Do you remember Christmas Eve? There had to be at least one Christmas that had you excited, vibrating with anticipation. Anticipation. When that Christmas finally unfolded was it as good as the wait for it to arrive, or was it something less? Was the coffee that good, or was it the anticipation that was good?
  I buy my lottery tickets, put them in my pocket and forget about them, but every once in awhile I let my mind wander… what if? The funny thing is that winning is not part of the anticipation. I have talked with the girls at the store where I buy my tickets and always joke that I will come back and “share” with them when I win. In my mind I can see myself walking up to each in-turn and handing them an envelope with their share, watching the disbelief, the realization, the joy… I imagine myself knocking on the door where some good friends of mine live and handing them the deed for their house – paid in full, tossing them the keys to the new truck that’s parked in the driveway, and giving them the trust papers that provide them with an income for the rest of their lives. Imagine…
  Anticipation. I don’t expect that I will ever win the lottery, but I get a lot of pleasure thinking about all the great things I could do if I did win. Am I gambling? No, I’m enjoying that long anticipated first sip of coffee. I think I’ll go check my tickets. 7/18/06

Posted in What The Heck | Leave a comment

Cut The Tax Rate, Increase Revenue

Posted on July 16, 2006 by Rich

  President Bush was successful in cutting the tax rate several months ago and we are now seeing the benefits in the form of substantially higher tax revenues being paid into the U.S. Government coffers. This should be a lesson for those who cannot understand this concept. Cut the tax rate (the percentage of taxes all those rich people and big corporations pay on what they earn) and earn more money (because those same rich people and big corporations were willing to put that money to work earning even more money). If you want some background on the budget, the deficit, and how taxes work please visit http://www.federalbudget.com/ .
  In the meantime, talk with all those folks who want to increase tax rates and have them try to understand that poor people with no money beyond what it takes to survive day-to-day do not drive the engine of our economy. However, rich people, who are always looking for ways to become richer, do drive that engine. We don’t have to like it, we just have to understand and appreciate the motivational factors that make the engine run and that also control its speed. Remember the old adage: “It takes money to make money.”? Like it or not, it’s true. 7/16/06

Posted in What The Heck | Leave a comment